Witty, Sometimes Cynical, Quotes about Life
By Jim Lockwood on Mar 5, 2008 in Featured, Live
Most quotes about life are upbeat and encouraging. Sometimes we need a different perspective. These quotes reflect some of life’s frustrations and challenges. I hope you enjoy the humor as much as I do.
“He’s turned his life around. He used to be miserable and depressed, now he’s depressed and miserable.” – David Frost
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” – Anonymous
“Life is wasted on the living.” – Douglas Adams
“Life is like playing the violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes along.” – Samuel Butler
“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston Churchill
“In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.” – Kathy Norris
“Live every day as if it were your last, and then someday you’ll be right.” – Anonymous
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Groucho Marx
“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” – Anonymous
“Life is one long process of getting tired.” – Samuel Butler
“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another – it’s one damn thing over and over.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay
“Not only is life a bitch, but she’s always having puppies.” – Anonymous
“The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.” – Woody Allen
“If I knew I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Mickey Mantle
“Life is like a dog-sled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzard
“The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.” – Clarence Darrow
“He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.” – Joseph Heller
“Death is nature’s way of saying, ‘Your table’s ready.’” – Robin Williams
“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Because we are not the person involved.” – Mark Twain
“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” – Rita Rudner
“People find life entirely too time-consuming.” – Stanislaw J. Lec
“I think it’s better to not have been born at all. But how many people do you meet in a lifetime who were that lucky?” – Yiddish Saying
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
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Carla | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
These crack me up! A couple years ago I signed on to a Monday morning email that has an inspirational quote or some get-up-and-go fact in my inbox each week, and some weeks when I’m just not in the mood to be upbeat, I’d rather see something like this.
Maybe you should start a weekly update with something witty and inspiring in a reverse-psychology kind of way like these. I’d be all over it!
Carla
http://40-nowwhat.blogspot.com/
Jim Lockwood | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
Hmmm, now there’s an idea. Thanks Carla. I will have to give some thought to how that could work.
I’m glad there are others who share my enjoyment of these types of quotes. I consider myself a very positive person who sees the good in life…but we can all relate to these quotes in some way.